Bro is beautiful
Thursday, 13 Mar 2025
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Can’t be this guy. He was with my wife that day.
Mike Johnson and Lindsey Graham are going to be fighting to the bottom over him.
I declare a writ of “Boys Will Be Boys!” Case dismissed!
My heterosexuality had a good run.
“If you want to hit, you must acquit.”
the internet right now lol
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His name is Luigi? CEO was secretly a giant fire-breathing turtle confirmed. Can’t convict him of manslaughter then, jury cannot convict. Probably getting revenge for his brother Mario getting denied coverage for his fire flower burns.
Apparently the hotel clerk was correct to flirt
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Get to Canada man…We all saw nothing.
I’ll donate to his legal go fund me. It would be fitting considering how many people have to use crowdfunding so they can pay for lifesaving treatments that insurance denies.
Who will be the lucky Hollywood heartthrob to take this one all the way to an Oscar?
Sorry officers you have the wrong guy he was helping me do whatever it is we were doing and totally not anywhere near New York.
The backpack doesn’t match.
So this is what Eric Adams meant when he said revealing his name would give him the “upper hand.” Lad’s about to get a record number of marriage proposals.
Just be glad he’s a photogenic dude bro and not a raggedy-ass brown or black kid.
The health insurance industry might actually have a chance to change.
More photogenic white dude bros should rise up and be the change we need in this world
Sincerely,
A raggedy-ass brown kid.
Edit: I was bracing for a downvote party after this racially charged comment. Reddit, always full of surprises 😎
If this case is brought to court, I’m intrigued how they go about looking for a jury.
I’ve always judged those that lusted after murderers. But now I totally understand 🤤
You tried young man. I 🫡 you, unfortunately a boomer couldn’t resist that supposed $50k reward
Damn it! Now I’m gay!
Nah, he’s being framed; this is more likely the work of Waluigi.
Only takes one of the 12 to say “Not Guilty” and this hero skates
Gen Z white girls rn 💦
This is why McDonald’s boycotting needs to be upheld. Not surprised they employ snitches.
Holy shit. I’m a lesbian and I still would.
They might be tempted to not bring this to trial
-a man who was killed is part of a *very* unpopular thing most have at least some negative experiences with
-he is conventionally attractive
-the almost week-long hunt made the NYPD look incompetent
He’s now been upgraded to Adjuster Daddy
Figures trump’s favorite restaurant chain has a rat.
I don’t think this is the suspect, just a person of interest.
honestly, he’s stupid to not head straight for the southern border and stay there until a few years then change your identity and return.
We putting money on his books right?
Free Luigi!
He couldn’t have done it. He was with me at the time of the murder. Haven’t figured out where we were yet.
think I heard somewhere:
1. A jury “cannot be wrong.”
2. You cannot be tried for the same crime twice.
Therefore, a jury can rule “not guilty” even when the defendant has broken the law.
If the law is unjust or not applied fairly in a case, they’re not guilty… (Jury nullification)
My money is on this being the shooter, that he wanted to get caught, especially before the story began to lose momentum, as there’s a clear importance to the message he wants to put across, and that kinda necessitates getting caught with all the evidence, plus manifesto while the irons hot!
Also, I wouldn’t be too quick to drag the McDonalds employee, as the shooter may have wanted to get caught and just thought some minimal wage employee could do with a cash based Christmas gift, rather than calling it in himself.
Jury nullification, look it up.
I’m too sexy for my crime
Too sexy for my crime
Too hot to do time
I’m too sexy for my gun
Too sexy for my gun
Was just having fun
Couldn’t have been him. Pretty sure he was in my dreams at the time of the shooting.