Husband “accidentally” killed my cat and i dont know how to cope.
Thursday, 13 Mar 2025
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My partner almost killed my cat while I was away. He wasn’t paying attention when I explained the meds (we lived together, I should have written it down anyway). He got his heart meds and the baby aspirin mixed up. The cat had two full doses of baby aspirin twice a day for three days. To this day if it gets brought up he looks so sad and guilty. He didn’t have a close bond with the cat, but he hates that he fucked up his responsibility and almost hurt me like that. Now if I go we have three conversations about meds (even though he knows them backward and forwards now) and write it out.
I would assume that the cats would be in the backseat of a car maybe, instead of in the back of a truck with belongings.
Sorry about losing your cat by the way.
Instead of being passive-aggressive toward you, he should be showing genuine remorse and taking full responsibility for his actions. If he can’t acknowledge his wrongdoing and make an effort to change, I’d seriously consider divorce over something like this.
Who walks around with a doctor’s note saying they’re allergic to cats? Husband’s story sounds like BS to me.
Being able to care for and love animals is a basic requirement in any relationship I would be in. This would prompt me to seriously question the viability of the marriage.
It always goes back to the phrase “if he wanted to, he would.”
You can judge a person’s character and what’s in their heart by the way they treat animals. You can gauge your spouse’s behavior towards you by how much he values the things that matter most to you.
I would never be able to trust the man again personally. Especially not with a human baby. I’d be looking into annulment. How do you move forward after something like that? I’m so sorry for your loss.
Leave his stupid ass dude what the fuck. That guy making me pissed if i would have to move and take a taxi with my cats im gonna search for one where i can take my cats in the bad on my lap or mext to my seat or something. Who puts his cat in trunk where so much heavy baggage is so stupid omg. Just leave him dude i bet he had no care for the cat because you would think a few steps ahead when it comes to a living and loving thing .
Quick edit: does your husband even feel remorse or bad for being responsible for the death of a kitty. Cause let me tell you what i feel: If i where you and my husband didnt atleast cry( i would have a breakdown thinking i killed a cat) then i could not look him in his eyes again and even think about staying together.
He’s lying. I smell bullshit. Also…. Nobody carries paperwork around saying they’re allergic to cats. Your husband did something terrible I’ll bet whatever. I’m only being honest about how I see this scenario. Sorry this happened..🥺
If this was me I would be going INSANE right now. Not only the fact that he PROMISED you everything would be ok, and he did not managed to complete that promise, but he did not thought about the cat’s safety and agreed with ONE taxi to take the cat inside the trunk, a place for barely any oxygen and specially dangerous if it had multiple baggage/moving items.
On top of that making an obvious fake story.
If I was your husband I would’ve waited or found another person who wanted to drive with the cat inside.
It’s so odd specially in a muslim country where they tend to find cats halal and even family?
But besides this venting. Take your time to mour your kitty and if possible make your husband tell you the truth and take responsibility for what happened, because he promised something and he did not make it possible but even worse.
Sending you a big hug OP. You’re not in the wrong, mourn your kitty as much as you can. 🫂
That would be the end, the line that must not be crossed. Your cat died of negligence and apathy. I wouldn’t trust someone who did this ever for anything.
[removed]
Time for a new husband
I left my ex because something happened to my cat. He ended up being abusive. Most people that are mean to animals. Are mean to humans too. Look at serial killers. They start by hurting animals. I have NO use for any one that hurts an animal period….😡🤬
The responsibility thing is to be taken seriously imho, imagine it *was* your baby, dead is dead, doesn’t matter if it was on purpose or not, you just can’t be that careless..
Leave him. Im not joking. He has no sense of care for animals or consequence thinking… seriously what a fucking bell end.
And that note, that’s an insult. Your cat is dead because of his negligence and stupidity. He had plenty of moments up to that point that they drove away to do something differently.
I just can’t imagine what kind of trash I must be to drive my cats in the back of a truck. Especially after I convinced someone that it wouldn’t happen. Especially if it’s my husband/wife. Obviously, he absolutely doesn’t care about your cats or you either.
My cats will only ride/fly/sail in front of me. Someone has allergies – I’ll take another vehicle.
I would divorce straight up. That was not an accident that was negligence at best.
I don’t know which country you are in but worth checking what the laws say about pets and personal property. In my country, pets count as personal property so the driver would be liable for damage to your property. I know no amount of money will make the hurt of losing them better, but it could give you a little justice.
I would literally divorce someone for this.
its the fact hes deflecting that responsibility away from him that feels like a red flag. Say it was a true accident, he still should be apologizing and showing that he feels sorry and guilty at the very least. i think you’re reacting in a very reasonable way and have a right to be mad at him.
i already hate that guy
That would be an instant GTFO.
Some things you cannot forget, and I’d never trust him again, especially with excuse making.
I’d accidentally and permanently divorce him.
This happened to me when I got married. My husband stuffed my cat into a duffle bag, threw the bag in the back of his pickup, and drove out to “the country.” By the time he got to wherever he was planning to dump my cat, she had clawed her way out of the bag and jumped. On the highway. I was too young and pregnant and ignorant of human cruelty to see it for what it was and leave him. That was in 1998. I promise you, it won’t be the last time he shows you who he is. Run for the hills, hun.
I’ve had cats for my entire adult life, I’ve had them spanning two long-term relationships, and moved them across several countries in planes, trucks, cars and bicycles. The thing that was consistent throughout was the understanding that if you’re responsible for another creature, you take the damned care that is needed to ensure that creature’s safety. It doesn’t matter if it’s a child, a cat, or a goldfish. Whatever your husband’s motivation in this matter, he failed to demonstrate a fundamental lack of understanding of RESPONSIBILITY. Maybe he can make it right, or maybe he doesn’t get it. I am sorry for your losses.
Legit didnt care or even did it on purpose.
I dont know much context but thats unacceptable
Not to mention ,i dont think just putting them with belongings would straight up kill them i might go as far as saying your husband hit the cats with something or placed them there on purpose
The only reason i thought theyd die would be suffocation but a brain hemorrage? It seems suspicious not to mention the whole story seems made up.
If he ,lets say didnt do it on purpose, he could have found a way to transport the cats safely, u cant just put them with a bunch of bags as i said, he was just ignorant, if he couldnt care about your cats he wont care about ur baby, Thats just a lack of empathy . Even if he didnt like the cats he knew how much u loved them, yet he just didnt care, u cant be that stupid to not solve such issue
Not to mention him telling u to stay relaxed also raises a bunch of suspicions, he probably wanted an open window to kill ur cat
If my fiance accidentally killed one of our cats, he would be bawling his eyes out & would never forgive himself. Your husband’s lack of remorse is a little suspicious to me. He should be profusely apologizing to you for his negligence instead of redirecting blame 🙁
WTF…if you guys are your 20s I would understand the reaction, but he’s in his 30s and needs to act like an adult.
Are you sure this is someone you can rely on and live with
He killed the cat through ignorance arrogance and negligence. He showed zero effort or care towards their safety. He also straight up lied to OP. He can’t even be trusted with a houseplant let alone a living creature.
He fucked up so hard here. Like this sounds like a child. To not have any common sense and put the animals in the back is insane to me. And the excuses and no accountability. Not transporting them separate. Wow. Your poor cat. What a shitty ordeal to put them through, it must’ve been scared 😭
I would 💯leave my partner if he did this to me. I would never want children with him. I’m so sorry, what a terrible terrible way to start a marriage.
I really don’t know if I could ever stay with him or even share a bed or trust ever ever again.
Omg I could never be with someone who did that. I would probably attack them with rage.
😭😭❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹ASK THE COMPANY FOR THAT NOTE❤️🩹❤️🩹😭😭 it won’t fix much but at least you can be more aware if what actually happened. I’m so sorry
Your husband is a POS. Just wait till he gets to care for the kids, I dont imagine he would be winning there either.
All of these responses are so tame and like ‘ohhh just get him to take accountability’ WHAT THE FUCK. In my opinion this is completely unforgivable. Your cat was an innocent member of your family similar to a child and your husband allowed him to be crushed to death? I’d be asking for divorce.
i would never be able to forgive this
Your husband failed you.
I am so sorry for you, and for your other kitty who must be desperately missing his buddy!
Is it possible to get an annulment? It’s only been a month and this guy has proven he has zero common sense and will always take the lazy way out.
If you can’t get the marriage dissolved, at least get your tubes tied. This guy should never be a father.
This is heart wrenching. I dunno if his story is real or not but it was so easy to avoid. 😥