Being more concerned about food in a funeral is a new low
Thursday, 13 Mar 2025
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Funeral homes should be regulated. They take advantage of grieving families with their ridiculous overpriced “packages.”
When did it switch from everyone bringing food to the family to the family has to feed everyone?
Especially in African cultures!!! People will come to your house to “console you” but expect food and drinks daily while you’re literally MOURNING.
I never understood the point of it in the first place. “I just buried someone dear to me…now let me get 2 pieces of chicken with macaroni & cheese, green beans & cornbread”
In my culture (Maori), it’s expected that everyone gives a koha (gift) to the grieving family. These koha usually would be money to help pay for the funeral or food (or just straight-up bring in food).
It took me till I was like 20 before I learnt that this wasn’t the norm and it’s weird as fuck to me.
Just throw my naked body in a forest when I die. No need to take loans out on my behalf.
My family usually just goes out to eat and everybody pays for themselves.
I’ll say it again:
🗣️ ALL CEMETERIES SHOULD BE FORESTS 🌳🪦
When I was in my early 20s a friend died, and her family were Jehovah’s Witnesses, so there was no gathering after the service. Which WAS weird to me at the time, though in hindsight, I did not know her family like that and would not have wanted to be in a house grieving the loss of such a bright young life.
Instead 5 of us went to fucking Chipotle of all places and told stories about our friend and laughed and got teary and just celebrated her. And I think I enjoyed that more, and I think she would have, too.
Like, when my grandma died, my mother locked herself in the ONLY bathroom in the house with a room full of family and *took a bath.*. For 2 hours. People left, of course, and then her friends called me and told me they ALL slipped her Xanax! Which then meant I sat outside the bathroom asking my 65 year old bathing mother to give me signs of life and exit the bath.
We didn’t need those people in our house. We needed them at a chipotle telling funny stories about my grandma. Not trading my mom benzos.
We don’t do funerals in my family anymore. When my mom died we cremated her and then a few months later on her birthday we did a small lunch at a restaurant for some close friends and family.
My possibility unpopular opinion is that the pastors praying over the funeral should take no more than 5 minutes. In the last couple of years both my grandfather and grandmother died a little over a year apart. They lived in a small Louisiana town. Obviously we are not the only family holding a funeral and at both services the pastor prayed for 45 minutes despite my family’s request for him to stop. We didn’t have time for FAMILY MEMBERS to share the memories they had with the deceased. Just an impromptu church service where my aunt and father had to go on stage multiple times to ask the pastor to shut the fuck up. That annoying pastor spent so much time hooting and hollering we had to end our funeral without the family having time and moments to share and connect because the next service needed to start.
You know I never thought about this because my father had life insurance but yea
So when my brother died we had too much food… Ppl were sending catering to us and bringing food and gift cards and baskets!! I was overwhelmed and also in deep shock and depression so I was not eating much… It was a lot of food tho.
“Alright are we all here? Great! Now let’s have some fettuccine Alfredo because tim pasta way
We just buried our dad last year in Nigeria, catering bill was for 3000 people over 2 days. Was brutally expensive.
Can we add taking pictures or video of and WITH the body?
It’s fucking weird…stop that.
Holy shit this is real
This is so true! Like we’re at the point where folks are excited for the damn repast!!! Smdh!!
In Jamaica it’s worse. We have to throw a full blown block party and if we don’t we’re considered cheap and rude.
A grieving family also shouldn’t have to crowdfund their loved one’s funeral, either.
I jokingly talk about “funeral chicken”, the stuff you can buy at a store in bulk. But I realize it’s cheap and easy for feeding a bunch of people.
But yes. The practice of having to feed people at a funeral, like it’s a wedding is ridiculous. It’s a damn funeral.
When my dad died people brought food for after the funeral service. I have never seen so much food in my life.
One thing I dislike is people posing in front of the coffin. Or taking picture to post on sm. Weird flex but ok.
How expensive funerals are, especially caskets. I watch the YouTube channel, Ask A Mortician. Caitlin has a lot of videos on low cost funerals.
They don’t call em funerals no more. They’re “Celebrations Of Life” now to extenuate the idea that it’s more about the partying after the ceremony.
TBH though, it’s not like I want people to mourn me by themselves when family from all over the world in town. Go ahead and turn up after y’all put me to rest 🤷🏿♂️. I think that’s what most people want which is why this has continued for so long.
But do it like niggas and bring food over. We do not need catering.
When my dad passed, I remember people we didn’t even know jumping ahead of my siblings and I to get food. I was ready to strangle people. No one had the wherewithal to say “let his kids and their spouses and children eat first.”
Lost my dad in March and this was never even brought up. Where tf is this a normal thing?
Im getting cremated the old way, no funeral🤌🏾🔥mwah no food
We always brought food to give to grieving family’s is that not the norm?
As a musician, we DO NOT GIG FUNERALS. My wife aunt passed away and my buddy wanted me to pay him 250 for keys. I never have or will charge a family to play drums for a loved ones service.
Dudes be out here recording themselves and posting jams at funerals.
I’m sorry. I’ve seen too many people put themselves into debt to show out for loved ones. I refuse to believe those people left you behind so you could be even worse off than when they were around. If they didn’t leave you the money to make it happen, decisions need to be made to look after those remaining.
Jewish people bring a dish or order food to the grieving families house, that first week is important for the family to just concentrate on grieving.
You usually invite said amount of people.
While I agree they shouldn’t do it alone, a grieving family that invites 500 people to a funeral besides any help given to them it’s ultimately on that family to handle the repass.
I used to think that people got hungry from crying a lot. I used to think this when I was a kid so don’t judge. Got a ass whooping for skipping school once then afterwards my mom explained to me why she gave me a whooppin while making me a sandwich.
For my family’s burial within the day the person died. You can mourn once the body is in the ground. The extended family loosely coordinates and takes turns visiting and bringing home cooked food to the immediate family.
I’ve never known a family have to feed anybody.. usually people take food to the family house of the deceased during mourning and the church covers the feeding at the funeral..
Am I just so poor that we have never had a funeral that wasn’t at someone’s house and the food was potluck?
We had a BBQ potluck at my house for dads funeral in July. Cousins brought a case of Chivas Regal and we polished that off…that was probably the most expensive part and My cousins paid for that.
What kinda repasts is this nigga going to? Never been to a funeral where people didn’t all bring food.
A grieving family should not be expected to feed anyone. Not.At.All.
At my church when a person passed away, the family is responsible for meat. All the sides, bread, paper products are provided by the church.
I wish I could recall who on Twitter said it, but I agree with the idea of, “Bury me loose.” 🤭
My uncle died recently, and his wife, my aunt, loved to cook. So for his memorial service, she cooked up a bunch of food for the family, while my mom helped her out, because that’s what she wanted to do to honor him, since he and everyone loved her cooking. Sure, most people don’t want to cook for others or pay for food, but for some, it’s a way they can grieve while keeping themselves busy. Or at least I like to think so.
Who’s hungry with a dead corpse in the foreground? Never have I ate at a wake or plan to
Honestly,We still had food to giveaway yesterday.I took the rest of the spaghetti home and several slices of cake.