They turned her into a pillar of salt ?
Thursday, 13 Mar 2025
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When Elisha summons two bears to maul 40 kids to death for calling him bald
Me when Lot offered his daughter to the mob in place of the visitor.
“Well it says it in the Bible!”
“Yeah, there’s a lot of weird shit in there”
One my favorites is when Samson makes a bet about his riddle to the Philistines, he says “if you solve it, I’ll give you 30 fine linens”
They solve it, so he goes and kills their all their people and takes their clothes and says “here”
“I banged lots wife and licked her salty asshole”
Isn’t there one passage where they talk about how to induce an abortion and it involves having the woman drinking a concotion of blood, mud and other random shit? Please tell me I’m capping
Not only that, but apparently God had “told them” to, so they could repopulate the cities of Sodom and Gamora after they were destroyed by God’s wrath
People really think The Bible is tame, as if the Old Testament isn’t on par with some shit you’d hear in Greek or Egyptian mythology.
My fave part is when Dinah got 🍇’d by this dude named Shechem and then he wanted to marry her and her brothers said ‘ok bet lets be friends..
Hows about you and your people get circumcised first ‘ and they said ‘bet’
So Shechem and all his tribe got circumcised and then Dinah’s brothers went and redrum’d every single dude and took their wives and children as plunder/spoils
Their father Jacob/Israel was PIẞED!
Thank God…for turning me into an athiest
As someone who was raised a certain kind of Christian and then read cover to cover, the churches I went to and the kindly older folk that were also there emphasized that the Bible is a beacon of hope and love and so on with its passages. “If you just read it, you’ll feel better,” or something like that. They neglected to say that while most of the Gospels (and maybe some Psalms) may be places where the sun shines and can be approached more simply with hope and optimism and whatnot, a lot of the OT was like the *elephant graveyard* with that approach.
“Oh, so these are good things too, right? And decent people, right? …right?”
No. Generally no, they are not. There’s this asshole, this asshole, this catastrophe, this asshole, that asshole, and so on. And that’s just from the protagonists. And that’s generally how you’re *supposed* to see them. Back when I was a wee one, I wondered why Jacob was the good guy for cheating Esau, and then I realized he just wasn’t. No, that is story *within Christianity*. Jacob was an asshole.
Being taught that it’s all literal probably doesn’t help either (there are opposing views).
But yeah. A lot of the OT will have you like this, from Lot’s daughters (sidenote: the offspring were Moab and Ben-Ammon, who fathered the Moabites and Ammonites, respectively. Both were enemies of the Israelites, so the story is less a guide to morality and is more on the lore side, possibly smear campaign), to Hagar and Ishmael, to Judges. Especially Judges, holy fuck.
[Ezekiel 23:20.](https://www.bibliatodo.com/en/bible/easy-to-read-version/ezekiel-23-20)
One of my philosophy classes we really went into that shit and holy fuck. That shit is dark af.
there’s just some truly wack shit in there, just like all mythologies
I listened to a podcast where they broke down every book in the Bible and the Bible is WILD. Jehovah’s Witnesses really skip right over the incest, SA, rampant murder, mentions of magic and other little G gods, and God being super petty.
Speaking of lot and correct me if I’m wrong but was the town of Sodom and Gomorrah destroyed because the people tried to have “mr nasty time” with an angel?
Did someone say salt?
Stay salty, Lot’s Wife!
it’s a very disturbing book of violence, pornography and immoral behavior. worshiping a malignant narcissist is a weird way to spend one’s life. death cults gonna cult, i guess
Christian religion is essentially cherry-picking which parts of the Bible to believe and which not to believe.
Jesus feeding the poor? Yeah, that happened
God (who is also Jesus) killing babies? Nah, that’s just allegorical
As a Christian man who loves science, I can tell you: don’t listen to the bible like its law. It was written by primitive people over 7000 years ago. Somethings don’t make sense.
That said, a lot of the crap that goes on in that book still happens today.
The Moabites and Ammonites thank Lot’s daughters. That said, the Israelites didn’t always get along with the Moabites and Ammonites, so this may be a bit of slander about their incestuous origins.
By the way, it’s difficult to have sex with a man who is so drunk that he wouldn’t recognize his own daughters. If he’s that drunk, he’ll have a very hard time getting or maintaining an erection.
Fleabag is very good.
Moses being so fed up and saying to God “If this is how you’re going to treat me, just kill me.”
They couldn’t even look back and mourn her, lest they too turn into a pillar of God knows what spice. Nutmeg his ass.
Moses’s son grabbed his d+ck
When Esau gave up his birthright for some stew
This is why i did not trip too hard about Oklahoma demanding the Bible in school because once the kids actually read what it says, those parents are going to be mad. Especially the parts about debt, how to treat servants and foreigners. Big mad.
“DocMcSluttins” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What’s this pic originally from?
Lot’s wife was turned to salt. That happened before he had sec w the daughters. Prior to that 2 angels had arrived and were threatened w tape by an angry gang. Lot offered up his daughters to take their place.
The part where homie pays for his wife with a sack of 100 severed Philistine foreskins is a hoot.
Also the extremely explicit and specific instructions for animal sacrifice are fun.
Don’t forget the moral of the story: God will shit on his best guy to win a bet with the Devil
Wait till you hear. [Judges 19-21](https://youtu.be/oaQsVRcLIZE)
who did waht?????
The pillar of salt was his wife and lot also tried to offer his daughters to be raped to spare his guests. Honestly, let’s not overlook this
When Spider man fought Venom. When Mario watched Princess Peach (and her entire fucking castle) get stolen by Bowser. When the Dragonborn killed Parthurnax. When V realized Johnny Silverhand was in her head. All of these stories are just as valid (or invalid) as another.
Reading all of this is why I always tell people that although all of the Bible is God-inspired (as in He wanted it in the Bible for people to learn from it) does not mean it was God’s will. There’s a lot of screwed up and bad things that happen in the book and it’s intended to show just how nasty and disgusting humans can be. Not that He wanted or approved of the behavior, even of His prophets.