Comment as if you live in Skyrim.
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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“Can I help you?”
“Never should have come here”
“Gods above, a dragon!” (draws iron dagger) “Die, foul beast!”
Need something?
“there’s a nip in the air, not good for the crops”
“I used to be an adventurer like you until I took an arrow in the knee”
Shor’s bones! A handsome man in Falkreath.
I heard they’re reforming the Dawnguard!
Patrolling Blackreach almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They’ve got curved swords. Curved. Swords.
What’s the matter? Can’t handle the sight of a strong Nord woman??
Wait, i know you!
*kicks open the door*
SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE FORSWORN!
Hello I’ve been looking for you got something I’m supposed to deliver your hands only
give me all your valuables, or I’ll gut you like a fish
Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh what am I saying. Of course you don’t.
I’ve been hunting and fishing in these parts for years
Let me guess. Someone stole your sweetroll!
Greymane or Battleborn?
What in Oblivion is that?!
By the Divines, man! Is that a *dragon?* Get down! Quickly, over there by the rocks! Let’s just hope it doesn’t notice us.
Quit lollygagging!
Ugh Reddit is such an Imperial Echo chamber. Even on r/windhelm you can’t even point out that Ulfric killed the high king in honorable combat without getting brigaded!
By the divines!!
Yeah I’ve seen magic, the dead coming back to life, talking dogs and people killed by being shouted at. But you’re trying to tell me dragons are real? Nah, impossible
Well met, kinsman.
You never should have posted here…..
You know what’s wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone is obssessed with DEATH.
AITA? Was at the Bannered Mare and wanted to talk to Hulda, but accidentally stole a nord mead off the bar. Everyone attacked me, so I had to kill the whole town. AITA?
Iron or steel is what you need. Leave that fancy Elven stuff to the Elves. (which is true btw y’alls non-elf characters look like funhouse jesters wearing that stuff).
Sky above, voice within.
“its a nice day with you around.”
*nirnrootsoundsintensifying*
Hey you, you finally awake!
My cousin’s out fighting dragons and what do I get? Guard duty.
A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!
I saw a mudcrab the other day. Vile things.
Is that… fur? Coming out of your ears?
Hey I’m gonna go there for my pilgrimage at the end of Last Seed! Looking forward to it
So a guy dressed in an armor made of literall dragon bones just snuck behind me and while crouching he started to take my clothes off. I think he thought I couldnt see him, so I just let him, that guy shouted and made the distance of a kilometer in like half a second. Yeah Im not stopping him from doing whatever it is hes doing, Ill just get new armor.
“Out of the way, meat!”
This one asshole keeps coming into my shop selling me all of his junk
I fucking hate markarth man I was just out trying to buy some damn venison and someone got fuckin stabbed in front of me. Between this, damn Silver bloods throwing their weight around, that creepy ass house, and the Oblivion-damned forsworn milling about…I thought moving here would be safe! “Oh, a city made of stone! How safe! How secure!” Yeah, that worked out well. I should move back to Riften…
Stone beds do wonders for my sore back though!
Edit; typo
Anyone located in Solitude? That lizard asked me for the sixth time this week if I wanna work in his shady business. Someone PLEASE tell Elisif to send his scaled ass back to the Marsh 🙏😭