AIO bf calls me derogatory names when he’s upset?
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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Break up literally yesterday
Shouldve broken up with him the first time he called you any names.
Ive been with my husband for nearly 10 years and he’s NEVER insulted me, never even yelled at me or raised his voice. This isnt love, its abuse.
It starts off with insults and then it turns into physical violence and then murder. Have some respect for yourself and leave this sorry ass loser.
Surely you mean ex-boyfriend right? Why would you stay with someone who is actively showing you that they don’t respect you? There isn’t a path where he suddenly stops calling you derogatory names, if anything it is more likely that he will get worse. Calling you worse names, demeaning you for not doing things exactly how he wants, putting you down for not perfectly matching his “ideal” of a woman, expecting you to take care of his every need and essentially be his mother. Get out. Listen to people when they tell you who they are.
>he told me was he can’t control what he says when he’s angry
ETA: What’s to stop him from punching you and saying “I can’t control what I do when I’m angry.” That’s how most abusive relationships start, it doesn’t start with physical abuse from day one. It usually starts with someone who is super nice and love bombing, then it turns to something like you’ve described, then it turns into “I have to hit you, you don’t listen otherwise.”
Actually standing up for yourself would be dumping him
Fucking. Ghost.
That’s actually verbal abuse, like it’s textbook. Please look into it! I didn’t realize what verbal abuse could look like until I was in the thick of it.
That’s abusive. Not ok in any context.
Dump him immediately.
He doesn’t like that you’re on OF. He’ll never like it. Leaving wouldn’t be overreacting, it’s what you should do.
Clearly he doesn’t care for or about you. Move on.
I am high functioning autistic.
Can someone explain to me in simple terms, how the fuck people with no mental illness issues get messages like this and go “No no we can fix it”
Edit: I see from the comments OP is 23 and this man is 40.
If I’ve said it once I will say it 1000 times more and if you never hear it again I’m dead:
**WOMEN 18 through 24, PLEASE STOP DATING MEN 5-20+ YEARS OLDER THAN YOU.**
**THERE IS A REASON THEY ARE DATING YOU AND IT AINT BECAUSE YOU’RE SPECIAL OR UNIQUE OR SMART OR NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS.**
**ITS BECAUSE WOMEN IN THEIR AGE GROUP WANT NOTHING TO FUCKING DO WITH THEM AND ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE THE ARE UNSAFE OR CRAZY OR IMMATURE OR ALL FUCKING 3.**
**THE HALF YOUR AGE PLUS 7 RULE ONLY WORKS FOR FUCKING. IT IS NOT A GOOD RULE FOR LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS IF YOU’RE THAT DOWN BAD FOR OLDER MEN**
You are under-reacting. Keep the job, find a new boyfriend
If you want to stand up for yourself, leave him. He obviously has no respect for you.
He’s a piece of garbage. Leave him. Yesterday
NOR – What do you get out of this relationship that’s worth being torn down at his convenience? His sorry ass is lucky you’ve put up with this for as long as you have. I’d have kicked him to the curb after he blew the one and only chance I gave him.
Run. Run fast and far.
Looking through your comments I’ve learned he is LITERALLY 14 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU. HE IS THIRTY SEVEN YEARS OLD.
I haven’t been called a slut as an insult since I was 15. You need to dump this loser immediately. There’s a reason he’s dating someone so much younger than him, and it’s not a good one.
No you’re not overreacting. It’s very simple cut and dry situation. You either say goodbye for good. Or, stick around and keep getting more of the same treatment and now it’s your own fault. That’s it. You’re not going to convince him to change or anything. People are who they are.
Drop his ass. I have dropped a guy for calling me loser and a p@ssy. We didn’t even go on a date yet. My current bf never ever ever calls me names. He is respectful!
NOR. This is unacceptable behavior if you asked me.
NOR—there’s no excuse for him calling you those names, especially knowing your past; anger isn’t a free pass to be abusive.
No one deserves this kind of disrespect in any way shape or form. Please leave, OP, as this won’t ever get any better. YOU deserve better.
I would break up with a girl over this. I believe you should break up with the guy over this.
It’s absolutely disgusting that he thinks it’s ok to speak to you like that when angry. You’ll have to trust me when I tell you it doesn’t get better.
I feel like these AIO posts are getting a little ridiculous… like it is obvious that this person is not overreacting and the guy is just being a douche.