Dear god…
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
Exclusive insights, data, and analysis for financial market experts.
Search
Have an existing account?
Sign In
“We’ve been trying to reach you about your extended warranty.”
My rich uncle in :alien noise: needs 1000 of your currency to get access to his billions of your currency.
There’s more……
Prepare your assholes. We’re invading.
All your base belongs to us
42
See you soon.
Probably a message that no human would understand. It would take scientists decades to figure out and of course some random grad student or kid in the middle of nowhere would figure it out. The message would be something like a warning about something set to destroy the galaxy and to immediately vacate the region.
Honestly any message that fills a person with helplessness of impending unstoppable doom. If you’ve ever felt true helplessness before you’ll know exactly what a message like that would feel like.
“Stop transmitting immediately. They will hear you.”
My life for auir
“Yeah so we’re gonna get there and tell them we’re all in on helping them grow and expand… yeah a mean whatever it takes to get them into the grinder, right?… I know, they look fucking delicious… oh shit, left it on ‘broadcast all’…”
“Everyone has been asking about my skincare routine”
“Soon!!!”
Consume
Cbat slowly getting louder.
I thought “buy this product” was the answer
Yo, mine is the one that got cut off! Totally random, but a neat coincidence!
Hello….. can I speak to Mr Circus_Kloun please. How are you doing today?
“Make sure to like, subscribe and ring that BELL!!!”
All is lost
Drink slurm!
You have unpaid toll fines
Shhhh!! Be quiet or they’ll hear you..
I know what you did last summer
Buymort!
Prepare for your space exams
You are bugs!
“Ok…and aim just a little to the left-put the target on that blue dot closest to the star”
Prepare. Do not run, you can’t.
We building an intergalactic bypass.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!! YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED!!!
A repeating Morse code signal. And when we translate it, it’s just the YouTube link for a Rick Roll
“bogos binted?”
Actually terrifying to think of an advanced alien species able to telepathically bombard your thoughts with alien-cock-enhacement pill ads 24/7
“Please shut the fuck up and get off our lawn.”
SHOW ME WHAT YIU GOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
“You are too late. It is coming.”
The plans for the hyperspace byway have been on display at your local planning office on Alpha Centauri for three of your Earth years
For Access To World Peace Please Subscribe For The Low Low Price Of $43.5 Quintillion. Otherwise Please Continue To Enjoy Your Free Version Of Slow Decline Into Catastrophic Oligarchy