German Shepard

My dad bought me a karaoke machine for my birthday one year. Less than a week later, he yelled at me for using it, saying that he wouldn’t listen to “the sounds of cats dying for hours on end.” He took it away from me, and the next day I found him locked in his bedroom singing on the karaoke machine. He never gave it back. I haven’t sang in public since. I sing in silly voices in front of my chosen family but nobody hears my actual singing voice.

I haven’t hit the point of German Shepherd role playing, but I am shy to make any noise above a normal speaking voice in front of other people.

Sounds like a ruff way to connect the dots, but I guess the paw-sibilities are endless

I think the trick to parenting is actually being able to have an open relationship with your children. If you can genuinely trust and befriend your children, you can communicate with them, and if you can communicate with them, they can say “when you said my art was bad, it hurt my feelings” and then you can explain how you didn’t mean to make them feel bad.

As a matter of fact, in 1908, an artist WAS told his art looked stupid, and 20-some years later, he became a mass murderer who tried to take over the world.

“Ich bin Commander Shepard und dies ist mein Lieblingsbordell auf der Zitadelle”

A friend of mine heard from her dad that she has fat legs. 20 years later she’s yet to be seen on a beach, swimming pool or wearing any kind of clothing that reveals even the tiniest part of anything below waist.

“My name ist Jurgen. I tend…sheep. “

Meanwhile my Child Development class has novel concepts like “hitting your kid is a bad idea” and ” don’t smoke while pregnant”.

I feel personally insulted by this lmao

I always thought it is the weirdest thing how many people cannot spell Shepherd. They are herding dogs, it’s right there in the name for God sake 🤣

Why are people concerned about how people have sex as long as it’s legal? I get that this is satire but for real why! As a parent of 5 kids – I hope they find and do whatever makes them happy – art or otherwise. What’s wrong with people.

Reminds me of a comedian.

But that soft stuff man….
…everyone is like that
That’s the big problem
How people raise children for example, way too soft man
Too soft.
Those children will soon be defenseless, doomed.
Those children cannot survive in a tough world
You know, I’d be a good father
I’m sure
Would be a very good father
my son came to me
‘Daddy, Daddy, I drew you a picture’
*sigh*
I’m standing here looking out the window man!
What drawing?
What is it, let me see
PFFFLSZZ
What is this shit?
Ey loser, what is this?
Here, what is this?
LOOK THERE!
What are these?
What z… Hands?
These are hands!
These are rakes
Yeah, and this is the sun I suppose, yeah?
Why is it laughing?
The sun is a ball of lava, lava doesn’t laugh, dickhead!
Gosh, gosh, gosh.
Is that me?
Am I THAT?
Oh yeah, Daddy’s as big as the house.
Sure
Oh, look, and Mom’s bald.
Isn’t that nice? Making fun of Mom’s illness.
Shall I tell you something?
I think mom got sick because of your drawing.
Yeah, you have no feelings.
You’re a sadist.
I’ll tell you, Mom and Dad didn’t want a child.
And then you came and everything went wrong!
Go to your room and make another one
Well, this child will be fine, because it’s resilient, see?
IS very important
But you shouldn’t, you shouldn’t take those kids so serious, that kids’ shit too man
‘Look daddy with no hands’
Yeah, is a tricycle, fuck off man!

God from the Preacher show

In highschool i made a big charcoal drawing of a pinup girl and my mom offered to sell it for me. Said it sold fast at an event and never paid me for it. 15 years later ive barely drawn after that, idk why but it fucked me up.

I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me…