i wanna read the whole thing
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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They always teach you to use a quote or question as the hook of your essay. But they never show you how to REALLY hook the audience.
Hopefully the teacher is chill
They already knew that, remember, big brother is always watching
Professor here. You’d receive an A in my course. In full honesty, I’d be grading it at 4AM while pounding a Red Bull.
If your teacher didn’t like that, they have nothing to teach.
Nothing beats Honesty. Your teacher should know.
That is an “A” in my class.
Middle school teacher here. If I got this, you’d be written up for the swearing (school policy) and given an A on the assignment. I’d also probably get your essay framed and hang it up in the teacher’s lounge.
perchance
Madlass?
I mean, I’m reading it fully after that intro lol
If I were a teacher, I’d love openings like that
98/100. -2 for switching from the plural seatbelts, to only one motherfucker.
If I was a professor I’d temporarily stop reading there, give it a 100%, read the rest of it to make sure it isn’t plagiarized, and then submit the 100% score.
She and [Brandon Knight](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af_NUZ1Gp6s) would get along well
Reminds me of this legend
https://www.boredpanda.com/college-movie-review-essay-fight-club-prank/
As and English professor, I would not only give this a high grade (assuming the rest of the paper addresses the requirements of the assignment), but I’d also use this as an example of a successful hook for semesters to come.
Madlads is becoming r/thingsthatdidnthappen more and more
mad af lol
Since a TA is probably going to be reading it, and TAs dream of the day they dgaf, I bet this is going to be neutral or even beneficial in the end.
Edit: oh it’s high school AP class. Oh well, it was nice knowing you.
le try hard quirky humor
I mean, at least it’s honest
should be an automatic A with that intro.
Professor: “This mf spittin” 💯
Out of all the things that didnt hapend, this one hasnt hapend the most.
That’s a hell of a hook! You’d have my attention.
The only problem with this intro is having the rest of the paper live up to the hype of the opening paragraph
I’m kind of worried about any high schooler who’s drinking coffee to write papers at 4am, dang