ifItCanBeWrittenInJavascriptItWill
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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Rewrite in JS so that the bottleneck is no longer the mineshaft elevator
npm install social-security
Never underestimate how long programs and systems run.
Why don’t they write it in Excel VBA???
Knowing gov works it probably will transition to JS in 2050 using ES1 to ensure compatibility for internet explorer.
Because Cobol runs extremely stable and with little to no errors, unlike Java Script, because the transition would be a massive, expensive endeavor and the risk of fucking up is massive.
“Why is it written in COBOL and not in Javascript?”
Cause it actually needs to work.
Make me President for one day. I will make exactly one law, which will send anyone who suggests writing backend in Javascript directly to Guantanamo Bay.
undefined people collecting social security
I have literally never heard of 1875 being used as a time epoch
Using misinformation to fight misinformation 🫡 🇺🇸
JavaScript turns 30 this year. I guess it makes sense that some people in this profession can hardly imagine a time it didn’t exist. Pepperidge Farm remembers
Oh, 2038 will be fun..
Why is it written in cobol and not in LOLCODE
Why the fuck would you rewrite a critical database like that in JavaScript
This is not true. It could be set this way but it’s not the default behaviour of COBOL.
The argument was that it was the ISO 8601 default, but the ISO standard dosnt have a default value. Just a default format yyyy-m-dd
Combating disinformation with more disinformation is not the way.
Now rewrite the js in rust, then python, then c++, etc
You mean the language that does everything in float64 and introduces rounding errors?
I need a source on this one – all Cobol I’ve seen uses Lilian timestamp from the database or internal clock, or `pic 9`, neither of which would default to 1875.
is there any source for that claim? there is no info about a 1875 date time standard?!
Why isn’t is written in Python?
This again. When I look it up online I find zero documentation about an epoch time at 1875, is it really true ?
As someone working in insurance, this is hilarious 😀
Why didn’t they invent JavaScript earlier so they can use that instead? Are they stupid?
1875? When did it change to 1975 being the default?
Where the frack is all this chatter about COBOL and a default date of 1875 coming from. Not from anyone who knows COBOL that’s for sure.
There is no default date. Whoever wrote the code decides on how a missing date is interpreted and I can guarantee that no one in 1875 was writing COBOL.
How about as400?
Why is it written in COBOL? World war 2 to begin with!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE2uls6iIEU&t=147s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oE2uls6iIEU&t=147s)
I can’t tell if that’s a joke or serious. What a world…..
You know, if Space Karen would rewrite this he would probably pick JS.
I still don’t understand. Are they using SQL or not??
The world keeps producing better idiots
You guys all got it wrong. I thought you guys were programmers?
Obviously, the only correct decision is to ask chat gpt to write it in python. Duh.