Meirl
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
Exclusive insights, data, and analysis for financial market experts.
Search
Have an existing account?
Sign In
When did it switch from everyone bringing food to the family to the family has to feed everyone?
Funeral homes should be regulated. They take advantage of grieving families with their ridiculous overpriced “packages.”
My parents have planned theirs in saying “when both or one of us die, we want you to grieve properly and not put any additional stress so please for my sake just have dinner/ lunch with family and close friends like extremely close friends
I’m an atheist but I think if you look at religious traditions around grieve and death they make a lot of sense.
Having arrangements to take of is something that I find helps – instead of just wallowing and doing nothing.
Not sure how it usually works in America, but in my country the financial burden doesn’t fall on the grieving family.
Why are people getting fed at a funeral anyway? Shit don’t last that long. It’s not brunch.
My sister’s funeral was so surreal. We had the ceremony and burial and then everyone in my family started taking pictures, smiling, with each other, still at the cemetery. It was so fucking weird, is that what everyone does?
Jokes on you, no way there are 100 people who care about me
But under a 100 people is fine, of course.
It’s because you celebrate good things about deceased’s life. ND doesn’t need to be for 100 people. 100 people come to funeral, close friends meet at full course dinner, because funerals are one of the biggest family reunion types
How about a small, discreet ceremony? Just the people who can come, say a prayer, lower the body or get the ashes and stop? Don’t spend so much for a dead person, if you really care about them, do it when they are alive.
Just merican things
I’ve just been through this and can not agree more. They also shouldn’t be expected to host family or friends who decide to travel in for the funeral in their homes. They have enough on their plate FFS. I watched my husband and his sister push their own emotions around the death of their mother away cos they now had to find money to cater a memorial AND look after visitors. The pressure build-up has resulted in them fighting and breaking, so they’ve lost each other too. I’ve never been more shocked at the lack of self-awareness.
Idk how funerals work in your counties but in mine we usually invite family so it’s basically family feeding family who came from far places I don’t see anything weird about that lol everyone’s grieving
Since fucking when? You bring food, usually something that can be reheated and eaten over a few days with little cleanup necessary. Who the fuck told you you had to feed people when you’re in mourning? Cuz they’re fucking wrong.
This is interesting. In Hindu households, you are not allowed to cook in a house where a death took place for 13 days.
People bring you food/coffee, and you might occasionally order in.
People eat during funerals? While family and friends are crying?
“Mm this chicken is bitchin yo!”
I didnt know this was a thing. Any funeral or wake I’ve attended, people brought food pot luck style or money was pooled together to purchase catering for the grieving party.
Here in the slumps of Manila Philippines, we celebrate furenals by drinking, gambling and singing karaoke. I hope the drinking and kareoke stops being a thing.
I told my family when I die to keep my funeral as cheap as possible and to get 2×4’s from Home Depot and make me a coffin 😂 Burying the people you love in your life shouldn’t be so damn expensive
It obviously depends on region and culture, but where I come from, it is customary to host a wake, especially that it’s cold for most of the year. So it’s nice to be invited into a warm home after standing on cemetery for a long time. Also you should feed the people who came from out of town. My country is poor, so you can’t expect the guests to eat dinner at a restaurant after they already paid for the travel. Usually neighbors or extended family members help with organizing the party. Basically whoever is close enough to be able to get around the kitchen, but is not extremely distraught by the death, takes over the duties of the host.
exactly why my grandma wrote in her will that she refused to have a funeral. “Give me the cheapest coffin, cheapest urn and throw away or donate all my stuff.”
Legend. I will miss her.
Can’t express in words the anger me, my sister and my mum felt while my dad was in end of life care and we had everyone visiting everyday. My mum and I averaged probably about 2 hours sleep for a week or two and in the time where we most wanted to just be together alone with my Dad, it was just a non stop stream of people coming in, ASKING FOR FUCKING TEA AND COFFEE and expecting a meal. I literally couldn’t believe it, and then I get being awkward and unsure how to act around someone who is dying, but to just chat shit in the other room to us about your life or YOUR HOLIDAY PLANS?!?!???!??!!!! Like omg bring some food, go and spend some time and say goodbye, then fuck. Off.
And then in hindsight I tried to feel no ill will towards those people as it’s a really tricky time. But also I will never get those days back and I still can’t believe the lack of awareness to say yes when my absolutely shattered mum offers you a drink. Not to mention having to spend hours cleaning up the house every day as they would just leave after eating. Shoutout to the ones who are aware of this and did/do all they can to help support the family and make it literally nothing about themselves. Sorrry rant.
It’s the same grift as weddings, and many celebrants do both funerals and weddings so that’s no surprise. It’s all about making money, just like any other industry. You gotta pay for the celebrant, the chapel, the coffin, the burial plot/cremation, the mortician, the wake venue, the catering.
My grandfather is the last one alive from his side of the family, he wanted a funeral for his brother when he passed even thought he rest of the family didn’t. It cost ten grand for a short service and some gas station tier food in what could only be described as an austere boardroom.
We all always go out to a restaurant with our close family after a service. Everyone pays their own way and anyone else is welcome to come.
Thing is, watching it evolve from a historical perspective, it makes somewhat sense.
Today, in modern era, it’s mostly grieving, which would support the statement given here.
But in the past or different cultures around the world still to this day, it’s a religious/cultural approach of celebrating leaving the living world into the next spiritual one.
What a very specific question to ask
The last funeral I went to had a pot luck meal, so the guests did all the cooking. Seemed sensible to me.
Who the fuq eats at a funeral?!? Been to like 8 and never once been served food
your peoples funerals have food?
G
Where I come from, the church bereavement committee or other friends and community members supply the meal.
What kind of funerals are you going to that have over 100 people? Funerals should only be for close family and friends. There were 20 people max at my grandmas funeral.
In Islam Sunnah for the surrounding community is to help the family of the deceased in managing the remains to ease the burden of the family of the deceased. The deceased’s relatives and neighbors can also help in preparing food for the deceased during the day and night. But today deceased family is the one to provide and served visitors 😅
Only invite cannibals. Problem solved.
What kind of Funerals are yall going to lol.
Ive never eaten at a funeral
Is this a thing? At my mother’s funeral people at our church took care of dinner, we did nothing. And again with my step-sister, her church handled everything
Stop using funeral homes and this stops being an issue. Doing it all at family houses makes it a lot easier to arrange a potluck.
Weird flex but ok…
I don’t understand funerals, in general. Why is it so expensive to do anything, and why do people have to show up, that i don’t really want there anyway? It should be a private time, for a maximum of like 8 people.
Tombs, traditions and burials are kind of weird.
Never understood why humans invented this cult like procedures.
Grieving wasn’t probably the first concern, when big predators hunted early homos
We just didn’t have a funeral for our son. So much better.