meirl
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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I always light a candle for my dear departed grandparents before I masturbate. Call it a distraction, call it advanced warning, either way I think it works.
Grandma did it too she doesn’t care
My grandma watching me kiss a girl: “Awww”
My grandma watching me eat that same girl out: “More tongue you idiot!”
Your gran probs gobbled too.
I would like to think she’s up there rooting for you.
The **Nosey Seraph Agency** watches the uncut version of your life and makes a *highlight reel* of the decent moments for loved ones to enjoy.
She’s probably masturbating as she watches over you
Can’t see you. Heaven is void of pain, suffering, and disappointment
I have a similar type of thought when people talk about “signs” from dead relatives. like “oh my god, the leaves in the yard rustled at 3am in the same spot they used to sit”. And I just think to myself “really? They think their loved ones are stuck in some weird realm where they can only communicate with vague random “signs”? Sounds horrible.
I am sure Heaven has HIPPA laws like here. Even if she saw you she can’t tell your granddad. Etc.
Your grandmother screaming from heaven “is this amateur hour!?”
Gobble gobble
She’s alongside Santa Claus masturbating each other while watching
My Grandma probably thinks I am a loser for not having gobbled balls yet.
Dont worry, her ancestors watched her gobble balls as well. Its all a circle.
I was eating this woman out the other day when suddenly I tasted horse semen and I thought to myself, “Oh, so that’s how you died grandma.”
Nah. Granny’s watching. And judging you for your weak game.
I have some news about your grandmother and the years of her….. uh … youth.
I’m pretty sure everyone, even the dead, all go to heaven at once on judgement day.
Screaming back I’m cumming granny
I don’t mind if she watches, but no backseat driving.
Well maybe grandma gobbled balls too. 😎
🦃
I just wonder if my ancestors get tired of seeing me jorking it 3 times a day
None of the dead are watching the living. That’s not how it works. Luke 16
There’s a fun song that pokes fun at this.
“God is a Freak.”
*God is a bit of a freak*
*Why’s he watching me getting railed on a couch*
*Staying pure for a wedding*
*He’s got, fucked up priorities.*
The song is mostly poking fun at how there’s serious shit going on, but somehow God has a hand in who’s winning football games. Or cares about who people are sleeping with.
Heaven is described as a paradise where you have no worries. They likely aren’t thinking about earth or their past life, as that could cause stress and worry.
Privacy is an illusion, but no granny leaves you to it cause even she doesn’t want to know some truths.