meirl

Half the time that’s all I did. I woke up I went to work I sat there I came back and now we’re here.

That is literally what a lot of men (including me) have been conditioned over time to say when someone generally asks how they are doing in a casual conversation. Response: “I’m alive.”

I don’t like to hear someone talking for 10 minutes about every tiny detail of their day so I won’t do this to others. most days, for most people, can be summarized in under 10 seconds unless there was something out of the ordinary.

I think the solution is right there in front of you!

Dunno man.. usually it’s the day to day struggle or complicated situations I have to deal with and I don’t want to bring that negativity into our relationship. If something nice happens I’ll share it of course.

My problem honestly, and it’s not because I’m a guy and think women don’t understand  (i apply this to both men and women equally) is that if I start talking about my day to anybody, I can’t just say 4 or 5 things. Every sentence I say about my day has to be accompanied by a whole explanation of any industry terms and how they are applied to make anything make sense.

I try to avoid it, but when any of my days drama involves the function of my job or culture of my job, I either go into a long winded explanation of things that I honestly just don’t have the energy for, or I just avoid it alltogether.

It’s also worth noting that a lot of people who say “I wish you would talk to me about your day” immediately get “oh wait not that much” vibes

That’s not true. I usually share what I had for lunch, which is the highlight of the day anyway.

Because when we do:

1. It’s used against us in each and every argument – which may or may not be related to topic.
2. It’s shared with the whole world – mostly on the lines of making fun of it. People we don’t like are always top of this list.
3. We are hit with responses like ‘Oh, so are you saying <whatever irrational/illogical argument>’.

There are other reasons, but these came up on top of my mind.

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Women talk about men being bad at communicating when the truth is, they will obfuscate messages as much as possible and then get surprised that the man answers the actual question. When women fancy a guy they will do everything in their power to tell him other than actually say it, and then get upset and say men can’t communicate.

Same with questions like this. If you want an exciting story about what they did at work, just say that. Don’t just ask what they did during the day and then get upset that you get a list of things that happened. That’s what you asked for and what you got. Communication is two way, and if you ask a question, ask what you mean. Most of the time the answer will be “nothing exciting happened because I do the same boring thing every day”. But at least if you make it clear you’re bored and want to chat for a bit and you’re using work as a starting point, the guy knows what you want and can try to satisfy that need.

Just the other day I saw a dudes hat being ridiculed after him saying that a spool of wire slowly ran out during his life.

Tbh with you on my side it’s just that I don’t pay attention to much happening throughout my day, I’m often wandering about in my own head so I would have more to say when the topic of what I was thinking about today comes up rather than what I was up to today.

I just feel like I have so few good days and I don’t really want to talk about the bad days.

Every time I don’t say anything I’m accused of being too quiet. When I try to talk I’m told I need to shut the fuck up.

I miss my dog. She loved me no matter how many words came out of my mouth.

My secrets keep my alive, that’s all.

Or, with the case of people like me, when I used to talk to my wife about the details of my day, she would complain it ‘stresses her out’ to hear about my challenges. So, now I don’t talk about it and she complains that she feels I am ‘closed off’.

You don’t like it when I talk about the details of my day and you don’t like it when I don’t talk about the details. Lose/lose for me, but one is a lot less effort. So you get closed off me.

Edited: Grammar is hard, okay?

Keep up the good work men, never tell!

I just got put through hearing every single detail of your day. I did not want that, and now that it is finally done you want me to do the same?

Nah, I’m trying to enjoy the things I like, not relieve the things that I wouldn’t do if not for money. I’ll tell you about my project I’m working on now, but there is nothing worth hearing about work.

Jobs are not interesting. Office politics and drama are especially not interesting. Normalize not giving a shit about your job once you leave the building.

My coworker yesterday: “My fiance cried and I felt so grossed out.”

I would tell my wife about my problems at work

She would proceed on telling me what I can’t and can do as the manager, telling me on how to do my job.

I don’t talk about work anymore.