meirl
Thursday, 13 Mar 2025
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Behold, Positive reinforcement
Something my parents never did
I mean ngl dad is very wise.
My kids are *very* good at scrubbing toilets and folding laundry
My dad could have learned this lesson instead of getting upset every time it took a bit longer to change the oil when I was helping
My brother has just learned this lesson thankfully
They’ll also take pride in the work they did and try to do a good job in the future
It’s a sound strategy for getting people to do what you want without drama.
Write that down ✍️
Too late, you’ve already developed a conditioned response to feel high self-esteem when you’re weeding! The ~~damage~~ helpfulness has been done!
It took until we were in our mid teen to realize this is what our step dad was up to when we were asked to grab a beer and he’d “time us”. Didn’t know how we were always beating each other’s time lol
Classic dad strategy, always working the system.
This is so funny because my mom always telling me i had to re-do the floor vacuuming job 3 times because i was terrible at it really made me not like cleaning growing up. I wouldn’t even put the vacuum away, just leave it in the middle of the floor because I knew she would just make me do it again. I don’t own a vacuum as an adult
I’ve never seen someone at being so good at sweatshop working
Wait a minute. Does this mean I may not be the best napkin folder of all time?
At the same time university study says that if you don’t encourage kids that they are doing great, they might try harder to achieve goals and do activities better. Now, who is right and who is wrong here, and why there is such obvious dissonance?
So on one hand if you want your kids to suck at something, but not complain about it, you have to encourage them and lie that they are great at doing it.
And on the other hand if you want them to be better and to achieve something real in life, you have to be real, tough and crush their hearts, but they will be whining and bitching about it and you are going to be annoyed…
Hmmm
And just like that, I was gaslit
As a 38 year-old, I only found out last year that I’m not the best at dicing onions and tomatoes for guacamole.
I was just told I was shit at whatever I was doing no matter how I was doing it… hmm
This works at most jobs too.
All I need, other than my paycheck obviously, is a little validation once in a while. Just tell me I’m doing a good job, and I will feel good about doing my job.
Tell kids they’re doing a good job, and they will want to keep doing whatever it is they’re doing. Even a small dose of positive reinforcement goes a long way. Make doing the thing feel good.
Oh shit, that’s what my mom was trying to do when she inadvertently taught me to never do things I don’t enjoy doing well.
This works on adults, too. We use it in the military all the time.
My mum would say I was the best at making cups of tea, and that she couldn’t drink anyone else’s. Crafty old woman!
My sweet dad would always say that I was “better” at wrapping presents than him or my mom. Guess who still wraps all the presents except for mine, even though I haven’t lived with them for 10 years? Today’s my first Christmas without him, and I’m missing that dry humor of his a lot. :,)
reason #1 why having kids is fucked up
Same idea, but buy your kid a chef hat and a recipe book and you can even start the behavior proactively, rather than just reactively.
Oh now I know why my mom kept saying “you sure know how to stuff a dishwasher!”
This is great but what happens if they do it wrong? Hard to believe you’re the best at something when you keep getting notes on how to improve
So funny! Made my day.
Damn I thought I was a bathroom cleaning prodigy…