My mom keeps opening my mail even after I told her to stop
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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My mother used to open my mail because she needed to know everyone’s business because she’s so bloody nosey.
Have your package sent to somewhere else like an Amazon locker
Send yourself a package of glitter
order elephant shit online, it’s a real thing lol.
Amazon lockbox is an alternative to getting your mail delivered at home. Stuff gets delivered there faster too in my experience and only you have access to the mail you get there. No nosey moms who don’t respect boundaries.
Not sure if they have one near you, but in my area there are these Amazon drop boxes where there is like a big wall of PO Boxes, and you can get your package delivered there. They will give you a code to open the box with your package. It’s free to use, but, they are not available everywhere
order a spider
Order a strap-on or a sex swing or a very large dildo.
Buy yourself a self-help book. “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” would be a good start.
Order something really awkward, like a set of graduated size marital aids and a quart of lubricant.
Do we have the same mum?
Mine was told explicitly to check labels this year as I had some stuff coming for me (some fancy socks related to a sport my friends and I all enjoy, and I was going to gift a husband hers pair to each of my friends – they’re all couples – at a big Christmas party).
I asked repeatedly all through December if the parcel had come and I got denial after denial to the point where I complained to the company I ordered from as I presumed they hadn’t been delivered. I then discovered the delivery date and photos of the damn parcel on my parents’ doorstep. I rang my parents and they still swore they didn’t have it, it must have been stolen. Then I reminded them the picture of the porch included their open front door.
Finally my dad thought to ask what was in the parcel and when I described the socks he replied “Oh, they sound like the ones your mum forgot she’d bought that she was showing everyone last week…”
Yep, she’d opened them, decided *she’d* bought them, then promptly hoarded them away somewhere and they could not be found in time for the party. My friends did not get their presents.
OP, people like this don’t change. Don’t rely on them to learn and make alternative arrangements. It sucks, but it will prevent you from being disappointed over and over again.
I have accidentally opened packages for my teenaged sons and immediately felt horrible. I can’t imagine doing it on purpose.
I know you said you can’t afford a PO Box, but they really aren’t that expensive (this is all assuming you’re in the US). A regular letter box is around $5 a month, and if you get a package, you just have to go to the window to get it. In some areas if you pay the year lease up front, the total comes out to less than paying per month.
I know the comments about ordering things that would make her regret opening the packages are funny, but don’t do it. It will cause a lot more problems and she would learn absolutely nothing. Don’t open her mail, either.
I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this. Stay level-headed and take the high road. It gets better.
Order one of them glitter package Do it Do it
Your mom doesn’t see you as an adult. The not checking labels excuse is BS. Until you’re able to move out you need to have any packages sent to a pick up location like a Dropbox or local parcel store. Get ready because parents like this act up when kids start to become fully independent. They’re not supportive and will often sabotage your efforts so they can maintain control over you.
Start opening her mail & give the same excuse.
Print out the federal statute and tape it to her door.
Beat her to it an open her mail. Then say stuff like, wow only $12,000 in the Bank of America savings account. Or hey that triple a sure is affordable.
You should find a product that says “my mum is a nosy biatch” and order that
I’m sorry she’s being disrespectful of your boundaries, I can relate to you and I fully understand how frustrating that is. It takes two seconds to read a name on a package, she’s doing this on purpose.
I’m having the same thought process as some other commenters….order a toy or lube or a fake spider. Maybe she will learn her lesson if she opens up something unexpected 🤷♀️
Buy something that would really embarrass her to see… Something “toy ish”.
Guessing that would stop her in the future
Open her bills
You and your mother will be no contact in the next 5 years.
I explained how opening someone else’s mail was a federal offense when my mom wouldn’t leave my mail alone.
That shit stopped immediately.
Have all your packages sent to a neighbor.
Get a parcel box for outside control the keys
Honestly you just need to move out. She wont ever stop.
Can you send them to a friend’s house and have your friend bring them to you? That’s free, and you don’t need a car to get to an Amazon locker… Or can’t one of your friends take you to an Amazon locker to get your packages? My mom did the same crap and she never stopped, but my friends always had my back.
Simply have all packages sent to an Amazon locker, where you have to pick them up. There are tons everywhere now, some might be within walking distance.
OP, not sure if you’re aware of the pricing for a PO Box. I was surprised that a small one was $30 for 6 months. If you get a package that won’t fit, they’ll put a slip in your box and you can pick up the package from behind the counter. I also had a nosey mom who “didn’t check labels on packages”
(but could sort all our mail and yell at us to come get it right now because it’s cluttering up the table…) and getting a PO Box saved the relationship and allowed me to live there a bit longer than I otherwise could’ve tolerated.
Order a mug (or something cheap) that says “This is why people stop talking to their parents” or something like that.
This happened when I lived at my in laws for a year. I called local PD, explained the situation. They came and talked with him, no arrest, but a very stern warning. Never had my mail touched again. Many people don’t know it’s a crime to open others mail.
Do with this what you will:
Federal law
18 USC Section 1702 makes it illegal to open mail that is not addressed to you. This is a serious crime called “Obstruction of Correspondence” that could lead to prison time.
Penalties
Penalties for mail theft can include:
Up to three years in prison
Charges for deception, fraud, or embezzlement
Up to five years in federal prison and heavy fines
Fines of up to $250,000
Buy dildos.
Just get an Amazon locker. If you got free rent and weren’t traumatized as a kid, then I think you can manage. Maybe have a polite conversation that you’re in a new phase of life as a newly minted adult and you’re grateful for their contributions to you getting on your feet but that means a new type of respect for each other to include reasonable asks for some privacy.
if you live at home. you have to deal with shitty parents.
don’t want them to open your packages. get a parcel address at any UPS store. most will do a “virtual doorman” service where can ship packages to. There are also amazon lockers and pick up locations.
If your parent doesn’t give a shit about you such that they don’t even bother to check package/respect basic privacy. they’re a shitty parent. you’re not going to change that.
Only thing you can do is boundaries and consequences.
since you’re freeloading off your parents for housing your ability for “fuck you” is limited. the best option is to take ownership of the issue and stop having packages delivered to your home.
and make progress toward moving out.
This is available to order on Etsy for a mere $10….
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