Posh Madlad
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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“you guys don’t do drug tests, right?”
pull down pants and shit on the table.
When he goes for the handshake, step in for the hug. Refuse to move until he reciprocates, and throw in a “mmm,” in his ear.
They might go ahead with the interview anyway as a professional courtesy, but you’re not getting that job.
Read as blow job interview…
“I don’t really need this job. My tax evasion gets me enough money already.”
“I would like to exchange hard work for fair compensation”
Female interviewer: “So I have three openings.”
Interviewee: “I know.”
sounds like a pretty gay question bro
Me: Before we start, I need to come clean, that photo on your desk, wow, I would totally bang your wife.
Hiring Manager: That’s my daughter.
Me: Even better.
“I clean my cast iron in the dishwasher.”
Realistically? Be autistic and intersex.
The 85% autistic unemployment rate isn’t for no reason; and, gender norms close even more doors.
You don’t even have to speak. The vibes kill you.
I hate this life.
“Is an outstanding warrent for war crimes a problem?”
Unzip pants and make a helicopter impression with my peepee.
“Im having an erection”
Gun
Ask the interviewer if they have a hairy ass?
Easy ask the guy is his mom or wife walking normally yet? & when he gets that weird look on his face just smile & say yeah I was putting work with them backshots!!
What’s the salary?
Say, “I was hoping you would tell me why you want to work here,” in response to their question.
Thanks to recent events: “So… what’s the name and home address of the CEO?”
“I was sent to blow a job interview, but you’ll do.”
Public masturbation is often a deal breaker
Jokes aside, just ask some basic management questions. They will not hire you to hide the fact they are complete outsiders to management.
“[Watch This Fucko!](https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/5a66f4a7-fc9c-46aa-8d75-bf92e2d60ca8)
I’m sorry, are you saying Pan or Pam?
GREGGGGG Wallace warming up for his inevitable GBeebies interview?
Light up a cigarette
You start with a fart.
“How bad is the micromanaging in this company?”
One that cost me a role, but not previously asked straightaway in the interview. Went down like a lead balloon, haha. The interview indicated to me, they had control issues.
just lightly assault the interviewer, grab and pull on their tie, flick them on the nose, scruff their hair around like they’re a little kid. you’ll be asked to leave but they wont bother to call the police
90% of small and medium size businesses where the boomer boss does the interview: “HAHA you are funny – you are hired”
Show up in a tuxedo with my step brother.
That would get you some jobs.
One place I worked at was looking for a minibus driver. This guy turns up for the interview an hour late and apologises saying he’s late because he had a crash on the way to the interview.
Quickest failed interview ever.
*unzips*
I actually had to throw about a dozen interviews maybe 25 years ago. At that time in the UK, the job centre would send you to interviews and if you didn’t go then your unemployment benefits were stopped. I didn’t want the shitty jobs they were asking me do as I was studying for a few hours a week with the hopes of going on to higher education. Anyway, I got sent to an interview for a company that did safety training and support for the fishing industry and off-shore workers (oil and gas etc.).
I walk in and the guy stands up from behind his desk with the obvious intent of walking over and shaking my hand. I immediately say “I just want you to know that I’d be very happy to take swimming lessons”. The guy didn’t even make it around the desk before saying “You’re probably not the right candidate for this role”.
So how do I blow this job interview. Like all of you.
You’re hired for president sir
I wear adult diapers so just take my pants off
“What’s the fine in Cyrodil for necrophilia?”
say the n word hard r. nothing can end It faster.
Just do what I did last week đź«Ł