Processing (Part 2) – Gator Days (OC)
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
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Aww bless! That’s one of the weird things about life. You often can’t know how another person is feeling. Even standing in a crowd full of people who look okay; there is a likelihood that many of them are having a stressful time and those who are really sad about stuff. Many people just hide their feelings. It can also be because some people grow up being told that it’s weak to show emotion, and that it’s weak to cry.
But it really is okay to show emotion, and to talk about how you feel to others; even if those feelings are sad ones. And it’s okay to seek out help from professional services like counsellors, therapists, psychiatrists, psychologists, etc.
Beautiful comic!
Papadile, it’s okay to feel, show emotions or even cry. Sadness of someone’s passing hits us all. No one is immuned. We are not made with stone.
Dad here, we are not okay. I still miss my dog and its been almost 4 years.
Edit to add: Thanks for your comics they are always a bright spot in my day in some way.
Dad may have never shown it, but he’s totally not okay. It’s pretty world-shattering when your dad *does* show that he has emotions and is not okay, but it’s also reaffirming in its own way. If stuff can get to him and he’s willing to show it, then it’s okay to show your emotions, too. We’re all human here. Or anthropomorphic at least.
It’s a little weird when you one day realize that your parents are just like you. That they might not be okay; that while they might know more about some things, they don’t know everything; and they’re just doing their best going through life. Or maybe not doing their best – but you see them much more complexly than before.
Empathy is not a character flaw.
My dad is stoic too. You gotta check in explicitly on your stoic homies. They will not just randomly tell you they aren’t ok.
Poor August, your feelings are completely fine!
Grief is weird. When I learned that an artist I’ve talked to once offed himself, I stood in silence for an hour. I barely knew him, and yet I’m grieving him
I think Grandpa is from the “keep emotions buried deep inside” old school.
This exact same situation happened to me last year. Someone from my department died unexpectedly. I didn’t know him very well, only had a few conversations, but it really impacted me. I had a really hard time for a few weeks focusing on anything (work, parenting, life).
It really is important to process these emotions, even if it seems like you shouldn’t be feeling as sad as you are.
We have a term in my country that roughly translates to “pain in life” and that it’s okay to feel it. Sometimes life hurts and that’s okay to feel that way
You can miss someone’s company without really knowing them.
Plus, I feel like death is an important reminder to care about people in your surroundings, even if it’s just acquaintance.
Last year an old classmate passed away. I don’t think I had seen her in the past 20 years, and barely remembered anything about her but her name. But still, her death had me down for a while.
This hits hard. My dad recently had a minor surgery; I was in the middle of work and I went full fourth panel when I realized he was being operated on.
My dad was an RCMP officer, and growing up he was always so stoic and unflappable. I learned after his passing that he had severe PTSD and would cry himself to sleep at night more often than not.
Given how hard he pushed me to “be a man”, it oddly makes sense. People are complex.
As Parents, we seem to think that it is important that our children don’t see when we are sad or angry or afraid. But in truth, as long as there is a certain amount of :control_ over it, it’s actually healthy.
Like, of course your children will be scraed if thes see you completly breaking down, but If you show them that sometimes, you too, have to cry or you too have to scream into a pillow, then tat means that it is okay for them to feel those things too, even when they get older.
Had a moment like this a couple years ago when a manager died. Real sudden, just had a heart attack or something and died in her sleep over the weekend. Wasn’t really that close to her, but she was a good boss. I still have the last email I sent her saved on my work email. I’m just glad it was at least something positive (thanking her for her help on a project). Crazy how hard some losses can really hit you, even when it’s just a work acquaintance.
Real
I don’t want to make this political. But, this is the expectation put on men. To be stoic. To be strong. To be little more than a working machine. Emotions, especially negative ones like sorrow, are seen as weak. The only acceptable one is rage, and even then, it’s barely tolerated.
We are not okay inside. Because we still feel sorrow. We still feel pain. We lack the proper places to display them.
This comic sums up my internal experience. I feel like I have a lower than average tolerance for human suffering.
You’re not alone in this. An older gentleman who worked with me died recently and it shook me pretty hard. He always wore a bright yellow vest. He was legally blind and had to take the bus. He was afraid that someone wouldn’t see him and hit him.
Then one day at a crosswalk with bright flashing lights, wearing the yellow vest He refused to take off, it happened. His worst fear. The thing he worked so hard to avoid. Because of one inattentive driver. I don’t even know his name. But I remember him vividly. He was always bringing my other elderly coworker food.
This reminds me; My paternal uncle lost his wife to cancer and lost his mother-in-law to some other disease I cannot recall.
Fifteen years later my father died, due to a heart attack. Ca half a year after this my mother met him at another family event. Now my mother was/is always very open about her emotions, as this helps her healing. And she wanted to know about his experiences of loosing your partner, but he blocked the topic entirely and was very uncomfortable and defensive.
In the end my mother said: “Can it be that I have recovered more from my husband’s death after 6 months, than you have from your wife’s after 15 years?”
And he said: “yes this is probably right”
“Have you never talked with anyone about your feelings?”
“Men do not do that ”
Please, whatever you are, talk about your emotions and your needs, especially if you have a personal crisis. Do not bury it into yourself and pretend eveything is fine. You need to heal and others are willing to support you
About 2 years ago, a guy in our neighborhood died. He felt bad migraines, went to the emergency room, the put him on an IV, then found him dead in the bathroom, probably because they over potassiumed him.
We’d hung out a couple times at our kids birthday parties and such, but weren’t really friends, just acquaintances. But he was the “hot” guy in the neighborhood. Younger than me. Then just dead.
It was 2 years ago and not my family, but I still think about him almost daily. How his family is not well now, how my family would not be well if I just dropped dead, etc.
I am not ok, but also am OK? It’s wierd and I don’t like to think about it but also can’t stop.
My best friend passed two weeks ago, she took her own life. Life doesn’t feel real right now, I can’t do anything but distract myself with books or games or large projects. People around me are telling me to study but I feel like I can’t do anything, there’s a ghost of her in everything I do. Processing takes time, and finding strength is hard, but I like to believe there’s a way through it.
My dad never cried in front of me or my brother. I always felt he was emotionally distant; before he died he mentioned that he cried plenty, just never in front of us.
Is dad the one who yelled at him for dropping the eggs? He shouldn’t care about the opinion of someone like that
Call your dad!
The last three comics have been downers. We need some happy ones soon.
That’s our secret. None of us are “okay”. We’re just coping the best we can.
Dad is definitely not okay.
He’s just good at faking it. Its whats his generation did.
Its what my dad did.
After he died, we found out from one of his coworkers that the one heart attack we knew about from six months prior to his death was actually at least his *third*.
Stubborn jackass was trying to hide it so we wouldn’t worry.
I’m a tumor, I’m a tumor!
I’m a tumor, I’m a tumor, I’m a tumor!
I’m a tumor, I’m a tumor, I’m a tumor!
Oh, oh, oh, I’m a tumor.
(Repressing might not be good for you.)
Being a parent changed my life perspective, not just because I had a new life that I need to be responsible and care for now, but because it made me realize how our parents were just like us – didn’t know anything better and are picking up all the pieces along the way to make that little life feel safe and secure in life. If we ourselves showed signs of uncertainty, how is the little child supposed to trust anything we do?
It’s a weird feeling to start actually seeing your parents as another vulnerable everyday person instead of the one who always knew what to do when you needed and carried you along.
My dad passed away last year due to suicide.
This one hits different.
It’s been several years, but I had a coworker named Jeff suddenly pass away. We were friendly and would talk music, but we weren’t friends. This series seems spot on so far
Whoa. Considering how his father mistreated him, I’m surprised how August still cares for him.
I think we’re really weaker than our fathers i mean this genuinely my grandfather doesn’t have any anxiety i don’t know how