The oldest and the costliest dildos
Wednesday, 12 Mar 2025
Exclusive insights, data, and analysis for financial market experts.
Search
Have an existing account?
Sign In
You can kill dracula with the pearl royale
Colin doesn’t seem to understand what would please a woman.
I bet Holes feels phallus feels better than Pearl royale. Don’t ask me to prove.
That fels hohles alright
I thought it was a dagger before I read that they are actually dildos
The pearl one is similar to when old men try to write female characters
Most expensive is still not made to perfection. What will the cross at the top help in ?? Calling “oh god”?
Why do both these look like key items in an RPG?
I question the Pearl Royale’s claim as most expensive dildo, given that Elon Musk is worth hundreds of billions.
Made of platinum and called the Pearl Royale. Sharp point on the end. Dude just doesn’t get it does he?
What is the market for the one on the right? Someone who wants to masturbate but might have to kill a vampire in the middle of their session?
Now show the cheapest
The “dildo” on the left looks identical to my mortar & pestle set. Curious what “evidence” they used to come to their conclusion. Silstone “feels gritty when rubbed against your teeth. Siltstone is hard.” – doesn’t sound very comfy.
Does Colin think a giant nail would be enjoyable?
Also great to kill vampires and such…
Researcher finds Hohle Fels Phallus
It sure does!
Why is the pearl royal so pointy?!?
Oldest and Coldest.
talk about a “Yabba Dabba *Doo* Time”…
You’d think someone with the name Colin Burn would make butt plugs
Love the old dildos name. It almost sounds like Ho feels phallus
Lmfao who would display this and who would pay for this
Thats some bdsm kinky torture ass shit
What we really need to know is how *big* they are
First thing I thought of is how do you clean the 2018 one?
Yes yes, we are all extremely interested in the age, name and material – but isn’t the most important bit missing here – how big are they?
*The Slit Scepter*
For when your vagina is royalty.
Think you’re suppose to stake vampires through the heart with that beast on the right..
Thought it was a big jeweled pen
Some ancient Neanderthal is like, “That’s a pestle”
When someone literally said to get royally fucked
Pearl royal looks like a pen
Now! That’s interesting. Thx 4 sharing.
I would rather have the dirty stone inside me than the metal stake any day
The one on the right was used by her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II….or at least, that’s my revisionist history
When Colin‘s wife says „I‘ve royally screwed myself“, she doesn’t mean that she messed something up
Colin is, in fact, not a woman-
Think those are more dil-don’ts
The name of the thing on the left is Phallus von Schelklingen. Hohle Fels is the name of the cave it was found in
Creator: Colon Burn
🧐
Really?
How did they find out the first one was a Dildo? 28,000 years is long time ago and written references would be almost impossible
Talk about royally fucked
Is it bad that I want to see both of them used? The diamond one I cannot image in use
The one on the right made my vagina clench shut in horror
Anything can be a dildo, if you are brave enough…😬
That thing on the right is not a fucking dildo and if you think so you sgould have to try it and post the results
Kinda crazy really, the oldest civilisation ever found on the earth is 11,000 years old, oldest dildo, 28,000 😁😁🥰
I want to know if that diamond dildo has been put in anyone’s butt, yet.
The second one can be a bullet to pierce through a torso while exploding it.
One is a satisfyer and the other one a vampire killing weapon